Results tagged ‘ Phillies ’
Since the Rays are totally demoralized and about to lose, here’s 10 things you should know about the Phillies before the big Sox-Phillies World Series:
1. Senator Arlen Specter is a huge Phillies fan. He loves them so much he’s using tax payer dollars to hire an extra ump to make sure Red Sox base runners don’t steal signs from Phillies’ catcher Carlos Ruiz.
2. The Phillies use a 3-man rotation: Cole Hamels, Donovan McNabb, and Cole Hamels.
3. I won’t be making phun of Brett Myers at all during this series. I’m afraid he’ll get angry and hit me on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.
4. The Phillies fans are described as “rabid.” I feel bad for them. Look what happened to Old Yeller.
5. Ben Franklin invented electricity so that the Phillies could play night games.
6. Franklin also invented the steak and cheese sandwich. Meat and cheese together! Genius!
7. Some people take their vacation to go see the Liberty Bell. It’s a bell with a crack in it. I prefer to take my vacation to PetCo to see the hamster display.
8. Phillies manager Charlie Manuel taught Manny how to hit. He also taught him that the Green Monster is a great place to pee if you really have to go.
9. Look for Pirates fans to swarm Citizens Bank Park this series to see their hero Jason Bay.
10. Tom Hanks lives in Philadelphia. I loved him in Field of Dreams.