Results tagged ‘ Mike Timlin is a great hunter ’
Watching the Red Sox lately is like going to the kennel. I’m trying to stay positive, but it’s harder than a Nylabone. And now Manny may be gone? I actually had to think really long about some things to be happy about. Here’s some ideas:
1. The Yanks traded Farnsworth for Pudge. Am I the only one that thinks this was a stupid trade by the Yanks? I’m afraid of Farnsworth. Pudge is only like 1 year younger than Posada and will likely stink. I will eat my words if Pudge propels the Yanks into the postseason. My words are meat, cheese, Polish sausage, and pierogies. I promise I will eat them.
2. Julio Lugo is still on the DL so we don’t have to watch that bum. One could make the argument that the Sox are 4-8 since Lugo has been gone, not to mention the fact that Lugo’s best buddy Manny has spun completely out of control while Lugo hasn’t been around. I will not make that argument, however. At least Lowrie is getting some time to develop.
3. Fenway still sells Fenway Franks.
4. The Red Sox are still ahead of the Orioles.
5. The Red Sox play Oakland and KC this week, who stink.
6. We don’t have to play the Angels anymore. Maybe not even in the Playoffs.
7. Football season is almost here.
Time to take my anger out on a stuffed rabbit dog toy.
1. The Yankees never get their uniforms dirty. Have you ever seen Jeter with even a speck of mud on his pretty pants? Youkilis is dirty and sweaty before the game even starts. The guy practices head first slides during warm-ups.
I have to tell you that my mind is blown worse than Julio Lugo’s
fielding that cost us tonight’s game. So last Saturday morning I was
hanging out in my apartment getting ready to go to the Polish Parade
when I heard some banging on my 5th floor apartment window. My brother
and I went over to check it out and to my amazement there was a
human-like creature scaling my building. I mean this guy was flying
like Paul Byrd hopped-up on HgH. If you don’t believe me, check out this evidence of my brother scoping out the scene:
anybody sees this weird breed of flying humans in their neighborhood,
please contact me immediately. I would be very interested to know how
this guy may have gained his flying ability, as it would be quite
useful to me in hunting birds. I’m pretty sure I’d be Mike Timlin’s #1
hunting partner if I could fly and bite birds out of the sky.
Vernon Wells does have a cannon, but it wasn’t enough to gun down Manny and his aerodynamic hair as the Sox walked-off with another win tonight. Moss was a hoss and Ortiz brought the thunder, both with his bat and his running around the bases. I swear that my apartment floor was shaking when Papi rounded first after his single in the 9th. Let’s hope that running didn’t cause another injury. I’m so glad Varitek ended that game before extra innings because 1. We don’t want to wear Pap out with Oki struggling, 2. I had a huge poo in my bum that I really needed to take care of. Here’s a few other thoughts I had tonight:
After yet another frustrating game tonight, I know there’s some major unrest in Red Sox Nation. I admit that I have also contributed to the negativity lately. But then I remembered that every morning when I wake up and crawl out of my crate, I truly believe it’s the best day of my life. Maybe it’s because I eat raw turkey necks for breakfast, or maybe I’m just an optimistic pup. Either way, I’m going to stay positive and point out all the good things that are happening with the Red Sox:
The Sox have a day off and I hope Tito and company are giving some long, hard thought to their Toronto debacle. Here’s my thoughts on the situation:
1. Why doesn’t Tito just let his starters pitch? Beckett is a beast and he gets into one jam with 2 outs and 95 pitches and Tito pulls him? Just in time for Delcarmen to come in and serve Frank Thomas a delicious veal parm grinder on the first pitch. They don’t call him The Big Hurt because it hurts when he sits on your tail, even though it does. Keep Beckett in! He’s hunted deer bigger than The Big Hurt no problem. I wanted to bite Tito’s ankles when he gave Beckett the hook.
2. Kyle Snyder is designated for assignment? Seriously? This makes as much sense as acquiring Sean Casey. My fellow Texan Kyle Snyder (3.81 ERA in 54.1 innings in 2007) has been nothing but a stand-up mop-up man since coming to the Red Sox after being designated for assignment by the Royals. Why not send Bryan Corey and his 11.25 ERA southbound 95 to make room for Beckett. Corey is going to Pawtucket anyway when Timlin recovers from his hunting injury. There is no need to cut guys. Let things play out until Timlin comes back. Who knows, someone could get injured in the meantime. Manny could break a dreadlock or Julio Lugo could throw his arm out trying to get the ball to first.
3. Speaking of Lugo, someone needs to feed this guy. He weighs 87 pounds and is too feeble to throw a ball from shortstop to first. If he needs some help building muscle, I could introduce him to the Bones and Raw Food Diet. Kevin Millar eats it and he’s batting .389.
Recently, I was hunting squirrels while tied around the waist of my human and I cut the pad of one of my paws on some gravel, putting me on the DL. I’m mad that I can’t go hunting for a couple days, especially since yesterday was the first nice day of the year in Chicago. However, it’s cool to have an injury much like Mike Timlin’s contusion on his right index finger, which he also suffered while hunting. Just wanted to let everyone know, in case you have me on your Fantasy Team or something. Even though I’m on the DL, I’m still better than Julio Lugo (0-4, 3 errors today).