Results tagged ‘ Manny!! ’
So Manny’s 2008 season is over because the rest of the Dodgers stink worse than my brother’s breathe. There’s always next year and hopefully the Red Sox will sign Manny to his 5-year contract!
- Manny would just look silly in a Marlins uniform. His dreadlocks don’t happen to match aquamarine green, a color I have never seen in nature. At least not any nature I’ve eaten.
- If Manny is in left and he has to pee, where would he go? In his pants?
- If Manny is in left and he has to make a cell phone call, where would he go?
- Hitting a game-winning homer off Nationals’ closer Joel Hanrahan to secure a 3rd place finish in the NL East isn’t as exciting as hitting a game-winning homer off K-Rod in the Playoffs.
- The Marlins already have a Ramirez.
- I’m not sure Manny would be able to focus while there are girls in the hot tub in the stands at Dolphin Stadium.
- What’s the fun in hitting homers if they don’t smash people’s windshields that are driving down the Pike?
As inevitable as Greg Norman collapsing in the final round of a Major, Manny Ramirez is once again up to his mid-summer antics. Shoving secretaries, talking on his cell inside the Monster, falling on top of pop flies, striking out on purpose and grabbing all the headlines because of it. In the meantime the Sox are getting crushed by the Angels. As a long-time advocate of letting Manny do whatever he wants, we should just let Manny do whatever he wants. Manny is among the last things that the Red Sox need to worry about right now. Manny flailing at a fly ball and falling with the grace of a hippo on top of it was about the only entertaining thing I’ve seen out of the Sox since they’ve been in Los Angeles of Anaheim. That and Coco’s grab.
My point is that Manny is prone to mess around this time of year and we should just accept it. Unlike Greg Norman, Manny will come through in the clutch when it matters for us. When’s the last time the Angles beat the Sox when it mattered? Never, because Manny won’t let that happen. So enjoy Manny’s antics while they last because you won’t see it in the Playoffs. Unless your idea of antics is game-winning moonshots off K-Rod.
Ode to Manny
by: Big Pupi
Manny, oh Manny, you’re a real bad man-
You jumped in the stands and high-fived a fan
After making a catch with your back to the plate
Then threw the ball in at an astonishing rate
And turned a double-play with Dustin Pedroia-
You never talk to any reporters
Except Jose Mota after that game-ender
That landed on the Pike off some guy’s fender.
You stood like a statue just watching it sail
In the Angel’s coffin you pounded a nail.
You bat over .300 like every year straight
Some pitchers you face just accept their fate
And intentionally walk you or throw inside
Like , but he can’t hide
From your devastating stare and loaded-up bat,
How do you fit all that hair under your hat?
You go in the Monster to take a leak,
When August comes you’ll hurt your oblique.
But that’s okay because you deserve the rest
Come Playoff time to be at your best
And show everyone that the Playoffs are here
By blasting homeruns with your arms in the air.
This week the Sox host the not-so-lovable losers, the Kansas City Royals. I was running around the dog park today and I came up with some Royal funnies: