Results tagged ‘ Manny Trade ’
Man, I really feel bad for Manny. Torre is going to make him cut off his dreads this week. Manny agreed to do it, saying that he wants to be treated like every other Dodgers player. That’s surprising to me, I thought Manny may request to be traded if he was forced to be groomed.
I hate getting groomed. Before my humans adopted me, I had grown my hair out for like 2 years and had some sweet dreads. Check me out:
Before Being Traded to My Humans
After my humans saved me from the shelter, I had to get all my mats (dreads) cut out, which was really painful and made me cry. This could happen to Manny. But that was the price I had to pay to live with my humans who feed me raw meat, instead of scavenging for Mexican take-out containers on the street, like was I previously doing. I guess if Manny wants to be treated well by Torre, the hair has to go.
One of the things that stings the most about this deal is that we had to go through the Pirates and couldn’t just make a direct swap with Manny. The Pirates most likely demanded Moss and since we needed the Pirates, we needed to give him to them. Moss has been a hoss this year, filling in for guys like Manny and Drew and Coco. Moss is huge pickup for the Pirates. The guy could be their next Jason Bay.
I love Manny and this hurts, but if he was seriously just going to sit down and not play for the rest of the season so that the Sox didn’t exercise their option and he could go into free agency and get 4 years, $100 million, I guess the Red Sox had to trade him for some value, as little as it may be. It just stinks that Moss and Hansen (and the $7 million left of Manny’s salary) had to basically be given away in order to make this happen. Not to mention, 2 draft picks the Sox would have gotten if we lost Manny to free agency.
Do you really believe Manny would just refuse to play? There’s nothing we can do about it now. Hopefully, we’ll see Manny play again at Fenway this year, in the World Series.
Manny to the Dodgers. Jason Bay to the Red Sox. Brandon Moss and Craig Hansen to the Pirates. This trade is more ridiculous than the time my human made me fast because my stomach was sick. I need to take some time off from the Sox. Hunt some squirrels, eat some raw meat. You know, connect with nature.
- Manny would just look silly in a Marlins uniform. His dreadlocks don’t happen to match aquamarine green, a color I have never seen in nature. At least not any nature I’ve eaten.
- If Manny is in left and he has to pee, where would he go? In his pants?
- If Manny is in left and he has to make a cell phone call, where would he go?
- Hitting a game-winning homer off Nationals’ closer Joel Hanrahan to secure a 3rd place finish in the NL East isn’t as exciting as hitting a game-winning homer off K-Rod in the Playoffs.
- The Marlins already have a Ramirez.
- I’m not sure Manny would be able to focus while there are girls in the hot tub in the stands at Dolphin Stadium.
- What’s the fun in hitting homers if they don’t smash people’s windshields that are driving down the Pike?
No deal yet. Maybe Manny will be traded for Brett Favre. Keep your finger crossed that this thing doesn’t go through. Jason Bay has never even sniffed a post season, nevermind came through in the clutch in the Playoffs. I’m off to work. And by work, I mean a nap.
On what could be Manny’s last night in Boston, I look back to better days:
Ode to Manny
by: Big Pupi
Manny, oh Manny, you’re a real bad man-
You jumped in the stands and high-fived a fan
After making a catch with your back to the plate
Then threw the ball in at an astonishing rate
And turned a double-play with Dustin Pedroia-
You never talk to any reporters
Except Jose Mota after that game-ender
That landed on the Pike off some guy’s fender.
You stood like a statue just watching it sail
In the Angel’s coffin you pounded a nail.
You bat over .300 like every year straight
Some pitchers you face just accept their fate
And intentionally walk you or throw inside
Like , but he can’t hide
From your devastating stare and loaded-up bat,
How do you fit all that hair under your hat?
You go in the Monster to take a leak,
When August comes you’ll hurt your oblique.
But that’s okay because you deserve the rest
Come Playoff time to be at your best
And show everyone that the Playoffs are here
By blasting homeruns with your arms in the air.