Results tagged ‘ KFC ’
Brawl Aftermath
I admit I missed the Sox-Rays brawl yesterday because I was at US Cellular Park eating Comiskey Dogs. Mmmm, Comiskey Dogs. However, I thought this brawl was awesome and I totally defend all that made it happen. You know, sometimes fights break out at the dog park and we all like to get involved. Did you notice Julio Lugo trying to break up the fight the whole time? Just another reason why we should cut this guy. The way I feel is that if Shields bites you in the bum, you should bite him back. So for the Red Sox, Crisp was suspended for 7 games, Jon Lester for 5, and Sean “Mayor McCheese” Casey for 3 games. Mike Timlin was also suspended for 1 game for bringing hunting rifles to a fist fight. Kevin Millar suffered the hardest punishment, getting suspended for 10 games for running from Baltimore and hitting Akinori Iwamura in the head with a KFC Smoky Chipotle Crispy drumstick. Iwamura suffered a concussion from the impact. After the fight, Youkilis got into it with Manny in the dugout since Manny was peeing in the Green Monster during the fight and missed it. Whatever, sometimes I bite my brother when he takes my toys. We’re still friends, though!
KFC Unveils New Fried Chicken Flavor, Kevin Millar Spokesman
This week, KFC added a new fried chicken flavor to its menu, the Smoky Chipotle Crispy! Smoky Chipotle Crispy joins Original Recipe and Extra Crispy and is the first new KFC fried chicken flavor introduced in decades! I have to get my paws on some Smoky! According to KFC Chief Marketing Officer James O’Reilly, “We don’t take fried chicken flavor introductions lightly at KFC, and
we took our time to painstakingly perfect this new recipe.” I eat a lot of delicious raw chicken wings that my humans get for me at the Polish meat packing store, but O’Reilly makes the Smoky Chipotle Crispy sound wicked tasty!
So I’m assuming that CMO O’Reilly hired Kevin Millar to be the spokesman for the new Smoky Chipotle Crispy seeing that Millar is the best chicken salesman on the planet. I still remember back when I was a puppy in 2003 and Millar got me hooked on KFC during his Red Sox game commercials. So I’m really hoping that my MLB Extra Innings shows me the Baltimore broadcast for this weekend’s Sox-Orioles series. I’d love to get a glimpse of Millar chowing down some Smoky Chipotle Crispy on a Mid-Atlantic KFC commercial, even if the new flavor isn’t wearing red socks this time. If you’re reading this, James O’Reilly, drop me a comment or email. I know the perfect spokesdog for your new blend. And you can pay me in chicken!
Yum!
Big Pupi
Manny is a Bad Man
I admit that I was getting ready to go to bed in my crate when none other than Julio Lugo (yes, Julio Lugo) led off the 9th with a double, scored with a little help from Coco and Pedroia, and then Manny smoked a game-winning homer off of John Adams’ drum. I’m feeling a little better about these Sox lately, even with the curse lifted from Yankee Stadium. Don’t forget about Julian Tavarez’s performance tonight with a huge hold after Lester couldn’t get through the 4th. I’ll even admit that Sean Casey is swinging the bat pretty decent, even though I still haven’t seen him on any KFC commercials and Kevin Millar did have 3 RBIs tonight. Still not ready to make amends with Sean Casey, though.
Sean Casey, Bryan Corey, and FOX Sports Stink
I’m glad FOX blacked-out today’s Red Sox game in my region (Chicago, IL). This usually makes me mad since I feel as if I should be able to watch every game as an Extra Innings subscriber, but today I was happy I missed it. I spent my afternoon playing outside with my humans and feasting on raw venison treats. Sean Casey spent his afternoon blowing the game for Texas Tornado Clay Buchholz. Bryan Corey spent his afternoon serving up tasty meatballs to Toronto hitters. First of all, I don’t want to say ‘I told you so, Theo’, but the Sox don’t need Sean Casey. Kevin Millar would have snatched that grounder, turned a double-play, and ate a bucket of KFC drumsticks and thighs at the same time. Sean Casey, on the other hand, turned it into a 2-run error, blew a good start for Buchholz, and didn’t eat one piece of chicken while doing it. Second of all, Bryan Corey stinks like the poo my brother did in the elevator this morning. I’m going to start calling him Bryan Sorry, see you in Pawtucket tomorrow. His ERA must be like 15, worse than David Aardvark.
Millar Off to Explosive Start
In case you missed it, Kevin Millar is responsible for all the runs driven in by the Orioles thus far this year. In fact, I’m going to make the bold prediction right now that Kevin Millar will drive in 100% of the Orioles’ runs this season. Why is Millar still so great? Well, after losing the “Chowdown” chicken wing eating contest at the end of last season, Millar fell on some hard times. He was starting to believe that he could no longer throw down chicken wings with the big boys. That’s when Kevin gave me a call to help him get back on track. I had been doing a little experimenting at the time eating raw chicken wings (bones and all), so I introduced Kevin to the Raw Food Diet and it was like a match made in heaven. That’s right, Kevin Millar now eats raw chicken wings before every game. He’s bigger and stronger than ever and his raw meat eating is obviously paying off.
Also, while I’m on the subject of Kevin Millar, don’t think I didn’t notice the Sean Casey acquisition this off-season, Theo. Didn’t know you were in the market for an aging first baseman. I happen to know another one you could have picked up instead of Sean Casey. I’ll give you a hint- his first name is Kevin and his last name is Millar. Sean Casey, I’m going to be watching you very carefully this season, you’re already on my bad side. Well, gotta go watch the game, so with that I leave you with my epic poem “Ode to Kevin Millar“.
Happy feasting,
Big Pupi
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