Results tagged ‘ Julian Tavarez ’
Send him to the bullpen, designate him for assignment- it doesn’t matter, you can’t get rid of Julian Tavarez! That’s right, Tavarez has accepted his assignment to Pawtucket and should be back with the big team soon since David Aaarvark and Lopez can’t throw. In the meantime, I’ll be Southbound 95 to watch the Paw Sox and their new ace. I hope he starts some fights with some guys from the Rochester Red Wings or something.
I just was hanging around today watching a little Animal Planet and wondering who can pitch for the Sox now that Buchholz is on the DL. We sure could use a good substitute-starter, such as Julian Tavarez. I wish we had guys like that. I got to thinking about how Tito’s bonehead (tasty) move to designate Tavarez for assignment could actually bring some good. That’s when I came up with a blockbuster trade, like Nomar trade style. Apparently the Rockies have been interested in Julian, but the Rockies obviously stink so forget them. Check this trade out:
We trade Tavarez, Julio Lugo, and Sean Casey to the Orioles for Kevin Millar.
I know this trade sounds a little lopsided in favor of the Red Sox. The Orioles are probably going to want us to throw in some cash and players to be named later since obtaining Millar is like getting the offensive firepower of 7 players. But this trade makes perfect sense for all parties involved. The Orioles need pitching and a shortstop. This will give Lugo a chance for a fresh start in a new city. Unfortunately, we’ll have to get rid of Casey, but he will need to move in order to make room for Millar. Kind of like how Tavarez had to move in order to make room for Van Every. Millar will be back in his favorite town, throwing down chicken wings like old times. He could sub for Youkilis and Lowell. And Brandon Moss and Coco and JD Drew. We won’t need Van Every, so we should just give him to the Orioles too. Even if Millar doesn’t play everyday, he could just sit in the dugout and feast on chicken wings. He could wipe his hands on Ellsbury to make him greasy, thus harder to catch while stealing. Think about it, Theo!
Bring back Millar!!