Results tagged ‘ Feast ’
I’m feeling a little better about how the Sox are playing lately. But with a lot of injuries, new faces, and 6 games left against the Rays (who seem to never lose), the Sox still have a lot of work ahead of them. That’s why I’ve put on my rally mohawk. I’m not going to cut my rally mohawk until the Sox clinch a post-season berth. I’ll keep you guys updated on my rally hawk which grows fast!
I have a ton of respect for some of the greatest human feasters of all time, such as hot-dog eating champion Today, I’d like to profile another great feaster, Michael Phelps. How do you think he won all those gold medals? Hardcore feasting, of course.and clutch-hitting champion David Ortiz.
First of all, Phelps wakes up earlier at 4:30 AM to make sure he has enough time in his day to consume 12,000 calories. Plus, early morning is the best time to throw down an enormous feast. Phelps’ breakfast consists of 3 sandwiches, 5 omelets, some grits, 3 pieces of , and 3 pancakes. Tasty. Lunch is a little on the light side, featuring 1 pound of pasta and 2 sandwiches. Phelps’ later eats another pound of pasta and a whole pizza before bed time. Some people say Phelps is like a fish. But he eats like a whale.
I figure I could eat that much, but my humans never let me. How am I supposed to win a gold in the doggie-paddle if I don’t start eating like Phelps, you stupid humans! 5 omelets, please. Stay-tuned next time when I profile the next great American feaster.
Yup, today I am 5 years-old! That’s 35 in dog years, which means I can run for President. Of the United States. The Red Sox decided to come to Chicago to visit me for my birthday. Mike Timlin is taking me out for a hunt after Sunday’s game. As for presents, I saw some Red Sox-White Sox tickets on the counter that I am expecting my human to give to me when he gets home for work. Unlike Fenway, I am allowed into US Cellular Field.
Red Sox and feasting. That’s what birthdays are all about!
Besides blasting 3 homers in 3 games in Pawtucket, Big Papi also spent some time enjoying himself while in RI last weekend. Here’s 10 things he did while he wasn’t on the field:
1. Ate an entire D’Angelos meatball grinder in 2 bites
2. Drank a whole Newport Creamery coffee cabinet in one gulp, causing brain freeze
3. Rode the Big Blue Bug like a rodeo bull for 8 seconds
4. Caught a wave at Narragansett (can you picture Big Papi on a surfboard?)
5. Filled in as a dinosaur at Roger Williams Park Zoo for an afternoon since one of the regular dinosaurs was broken
6. Drank a whole gallon of Dell’s Lemonade in one gulp, again causing brain freeze
7. Climbed to the highest point in RI and beat his chest like Godzilla, then proceeded to climb down from the landfill
8. Went to give a motivational speech to kids at a Foster, Glocester elementary school, school ended up being closed for a snow day
9. Survived 3 fiery 18-wheeler wrecks on 95 at Thurber’s Ave
10. Emptied all his baseball gear from his bags, refilled bags with enough clam cakes to last through next week
As inevitable as Greg Norman collapsing in the final round of a Major, Manny Ramirez is once again up to his mid-summer antics. Shoving secretaries, talking on his cell inside the Monster, falling on top of pop flies, striking out on purpose and grabbing all the headlines because of it. In the meantime the Sox are getting crushed by the Angels. As a long-time advocate of letting Manny do whatever he wants, we should just let Manny do whatever he wants. Manny is among the last things that the Red Sox need to worry about right now. Manny flailing at a fly ball and falling with the grace of a hippo on top of it was about the only entertaining thing I’ve seen out of the Sox since they’ve been in Los Angeles of Anaheim. That and Coco’s grab.
My point is that Manny is prone to mess around this time of year and we should just accept it. Unlike Greg Norman, Manny will come through in the clutch when it matters for us. When’s the last time the Angles beat the Sox when it mattered? Never, because Manny won’t let that happen. So enjoy Manny’s antics while they last because you won’t see it in the Playoffs. Unless your idea of antics is game-winning moonshots off K-Rod.
I just wanted to let everyone know that I did my share for the environment this Earth Day. I fertilized my front lawn. Jacoby Ellsbury, on the other hand, damaged the Ozone Layer with the bombs he hit tonight.