Also, I have a great new idea for the product development people over at Taco Bell. When Taco Bell president Greg Creed was talking last night about how he loved playing cricket, the idea came to me. Cricket tacos! If you guys have never feasted on a crunchy little cricket, you're missing out. These guys are tasty! They are usually found in your territory in places were the grass has not been maintained for awhile. I recommend pawing at them a little to see what they are doing and then feasting on them.
So when the Taco Bell lady asks me if I want the free beef taco or the free chicken taco, I'm gonna say "free cricket taco, please"!
Play hard. Feast harder.
Big Pupi
]]>
1. Jimmy Rollins (SS)- If a Phillie is going to win me a taco, Rollins is likely the man to do it. He has 47 stolen bases this year. We just need him to get on base.
2. Shane Victorino (CF)- If Rollins can't bring the feast, Victorino may be able to. 36 steals on the year. Unlike Taco-co, Victorino prefers not to start fights with pitchers who throw at him. This bodes well for him not getting thrown out of the game and keeping my free taco hopes alive.
3. Chase Utley (2B)- With a name like Chase, you'd think this guy could run. Not so much with only 14 steals on the season. I'd say Chase has an outside chance of opening Taco Bell's coffers.
4. Ryan Howard (1B)- Too fat to run. 1 steal on the season, which was likely a fluke. Howard should mail me a coupon for a free Subway grinder to make up for his 0% chance of winning me a taco.
5. Pat Burrell (LF)- Is it even possible to steal 0 bases in a season? I mean, not even a defensive indifference or something? Burrell is lame.
6. Geoff Jenkins (RF)- Never heard of this guy, but apparently he doesn't know how to run. Perhaps he needs a bite in the bum to get moving. 1 steal on the season.
7. Pedro Feliz (3B)- More like Pedro Please get moving. You stink. 0 steals on the season.
8. Carlos Ruiz (C)- While unlikely to steal a base himself (1 on the season), the Phillies catcher can still help out the cause by letting Carl Crawford steal on him. Put it in your pocket, Carlos!
9. Cole Hamels (P)- Oddly enough, pitchers bat in the NL. How lame is that? One less potential base-stealer in the line-up! Anyway, even if Hamels gets on base, there is no way he is risking messing up his hair by sliding into second.
As you can see, the Phillies' order is extremely top-heavy. If Rollins or Victorino don't get on base, we will likely starve.
Play hard. Feast harder.
Big Pupi
Play hard. Feast harder.
Big Pupi
]]>2. Carl Crawford will probably still win us a free taco.
3. We don't have to listen to stupid cowbells anymore.
4. We don't have to look at Craig Sager's ugly outfits anymore.
5. We don't have to watch anymore FrankTV commercials.
6. We don't have to watch Joe Maddon make like 14 pitching changes in 1 inning.
7. We don't have to watch Chad Bradford throw like a girl.
8. Lugo will probably be traded in the off-season.
9. Cheese steak is still tasty, even if we're not eating it in Philadelphia.
10. I can get some sleep.
Play hard. Feast harder.
Big Pupi
]]>2. I was really getting into that episode of the Steve Harvey Show.
3. At least TBS got me back to the game just in time for a FrankTV commercial.
4. There's only one first inning of Game 6 of the ALCS in October! Too bad I missed it.
5. It turns out that Craig Sager's jacket was not responsible for blinding the TBS cameras and causing the technical difficulties. The TBS feed actually got caught on a catwalk.
6. The Rays infield should take lessons from Colt McCoy on how to throw straight.
7. Grant Balfour is about as lame as those Balfour class rings.
8. Not to mention Big Lame James.
9. Steal a base, steal a taco is officially back for 2008!! Lucky the Sox have Tacoby Bellsbury and Taco-co Crisp!!
See you in Philly,
Big Pupi
]]>Big Pupi
]]>1. Senator Arlen Specter is a huge Phillies fan. He loves them so much he's using tax payer dollars to hire an extra ump to make sure Red Sox base runners don't steal signs from Phillies' catcher Carlos Ruiz.
2. The Phillies use a 3-man rotation: Cole Hamels, Donovan McNabb, and Cole Hamels.
3. I won't be making phun of Brett Myers at all during this series. I'm afraid he'll get angry and hit me on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.
4. The Phillies fans are described as "rabid." I feel bad for them. Look what happened to Old Yeller.
5. Ben Franklin invented electricity so that the Phillies could play night games.
6. Franklin also invented the steak and cheese sandwich. Meat and cheese together! Genius!
7. Some people take their vacation to go see the Liberty Bell. It's a bell with a crack in it. I prefer to take my vacation to PetCo to see the hamster display.
8. Phillies manager Charlie Manuel taught Manny how to hit. He also taught him that the Green Monster is a great place to pee if you really have to go.
9. Look for Pirates fans to swarm Citizens Bank Park this series to see their hero Jason Bay.
10. Tom Hanks lives in Philadelphia. I loved him in Field of Dreams.
1. Treats.
2. Craig Sager better pack up his jackets because we're going to Tampa!
3. I really like the Sox gameplan last night. Pretend like you stink for 7 innings, get down 7 to 0, make the Rays taste the champagne, and then crush their morale.
4. I think it's fair to say that this series is over. Bring on the Phillies!
5. Those Phillies' execs in the stands scouting the Rays can rip up their notes. Those won't be on the exam.
6. It seems to be against logic, but you just have to accept the fact that Dice-K does not lose. Ever. No matter how may men he puts on base, no matter how many runs he gives up. Just accept it and move on.
7. We're shipping up to Tampa!
8. It's like night and Ray.
Play hard. Feast hard.
Big Pupi
Big Pupi
]]>But I woke up today pretty sure that it was going to be the best day of my life. I plan on resting and feasting for most of the day and then watching Wakefield's knuckler knuckle like a cheesy Dorito flying through the air. And Andy Sonnanstine serve up some tasty turkey meatballs to Jason Bay. And David Archuleta not sing the National Anthem because he sounds worse than a dog whistle. And Craig Sager wear a jacket that will make humans wish they were colorblind like me.
Go Sox,
Big Pupi
]]>
1. Feasting.
2. I bet Papelbon really wants to destroy Craig Sager's new purple hyper-color jacket.
3. Less cowbell!
4. Too bad for Rays fans. Not only did they lose the game, but they also missed Wheel of Fortune to watch it.
5. Dice-K is the philosopher pitcher.
6. Is it me or does Kevin Youkilis look particularly scarier in this series? He's letting his beard grow wild or something. I would not want to pitch to that guy.
7. Carl Crawford's tattoo looks kind of like that thing they sprayed on the turf in center field. What is that?
8. I knew the Rays had lost when they brought in David Archuleta to sing the National Anthem. They should've just waved a white flag. Then at least we wouldn't of had to listen to Archuleta.
*Although I haven't seen any ads, I'm assuming that Taco Bell is running their "Steal a Base, Steal a Taco" campaign once again this year. I'm also assuming that for every base Ellsbury steals in the Playoffs, America earns another free taco (and Crisp and Pedroia). I'm just keeping a tally in case I have to write Taco Bell's Chief Marketing Officer David Ovens to get us our free tacos.
Big Pupi
2. Since they changed their puke green and black color scheme to a nice blue, they can count out Craig Sager wearing their colors.
3. They have the weakest bunch of Mohawks I've ever seen. Why don't they get some real Mohawks?
4. Tropicana is the lamest sponsor for a ballpark I've ever heard of. A healthy breakfast drink? How about something more manly like Skoal Field, Gillette Stadium, KFC Park or Fenway Frank Coliseum?
5. Their fans tailgate at Golden Corral.
6. The Celtics already have the worst to first thing covered for '08.
7. Even the Cubs have won a more recent World Series.
8. Carl Crawford has never won me a free taco.
9. James Shields can't land a punch.
10. I sniffed Raymond's bum and I still have no idea what type of animal he is.
Big Pupi
]]>| Restaurant employs monkeys as waiters |
A Japanese restaurant has 'employed' two trained monkeys to help wait on their customers.
The Kayabukiya tavern, just north of Tokyo, employs the two macaques to help out their more traditional human waiters.
The macaques, called Yat-chan and Fuku-chan, are tipped by the customers with boiled soya beans, reports Metro.
Yat-chan, aged twelve, is the more experienced of the two - he takes customers' drinks orders and brings them to their table.
Fuku-chan, who is younger, isn't up to taking orders yet, but hands the customers hot towels.
Kaoru Otsuka, 63, the owner of the tavern, originally kept the monkeys as pets - but then noticed how they began copying his actions in the restaurant, and so set them to work as waiters.
Otsuka is currently hoping to train three baby monkeys as the next generation of waiters.
]]>1. Magically delicious.
2. The best part of last night's game was when Papelbon destroyed Craig Sager's orange jacket by spraying champagne all over it. Sager now only has his one lime green jacket for the whole ALCS.
3. Mark Kotsay is like my new favorite player on the Sox. He looks like Russell Crowe and every time he makes contact he hits a scorcher that could puncture a hole in my steel water bowl.
4. There's only one October. Might as well try a suicide squeeze to win the game.
5. It doesn't matter if Varitek had possession or not. If you whiff a bunt during a crazy suicide squeeze with the game on the line, you deserve to be out.
6. Do you think Lugo could have come through in the 9th?
7. Too bad we didn't get to see a walk-off inside the park homerun.
*Although I haven't seen any ads, I'm assuming that Taco Bell is running their "Steal a Base, Steal a Taco" campaign once again this year. I'm also assuming that for every base Ellsbury steals in the Playoffs, America earns another free taco (and Crisp too). I'm just keeping a tally in case I have to write Taco Bell's Chief Marketing Officer David Ovens to get us our free tacos.
See you in Tampa,
Big Pupi