Last Chance for a Rays Choke
I’ve been waiting for the Rays to choke all year and now it’s down to the last weekend. 3 Sox wins and 3 Rays losses is the only way for us to face a worn out White Sox or stinky Twins team. Or else we’ll be off to the West coast to see the Rally Monkey. I have a stuffed monkey toy, which I ripped a leg off of.
In unrelated news, RSN governors were announced and I was once again discriminated against for not being human. That’s ok, I’m not really interested in being a human if that’s what it takes to win an election. I mean humans only have two legs and if they eat raw meat like I do, they die. Plus humans have to pick up my poo. They do get to sleep in those awesome beds though. Plus go to the ballpark whenever they want, instead of one day per year.
Since I’m friends with Obama now, I’ve got my eye on bigger things. You could say I have a few ideas to boost the economy. How about we start taxing squirrels for their use of public trees? Or pigeons for their use of public air space? Or maybe we just eat pigeons instead of buying groceries. Talk about change that we can believe in!