A Profile in Feasting: Michael Phelps
I have a ton of respect for some of the greatest human feasters of all time, such as hot-dog eating champion Joey Chestnut and clutch-hitting champion David Ortiz. Today, I’d like to profile another great feaster, Michael Phelps. How do you think he won all those gold medals? Hardcore feasting, of course.
First of all, Phelps wakes up earlier at 4:30 AM to make sure he has enough time in his day to consume 12,000 calories. Plus, early morning is the best time to throw down an enormous feast. Phelps’ breakfast consists of 3 sandwiches, 5 omelets, some grits, 3 pieces of French toast, and 3 pancakes. Tasty. Lunch is a little on the light side, featuring 1 pound of pasta and 2 sandwiches. Phelps’ later eats another pound of pasta and a whole pizza before bed time. Some people say Phelps is like a fish. But he eats like a whale.
I figure I could eat that much, but my humans never let me. How am I supposed to win a gold in the doggie-paddle if I don’t start eating like Phelps, you stupid humans! 5 omelets, please. Stay-tuned next time when I profile the next great American feaster.
-Big Pupi
mlblogsbigpupi
My mom used to swim. Since I’m a big fan of feasting too, I asked her if she ever ate like Michael Phelps. She said that she swam Div III in college so she was not in his league, but she that during winter training and the busiest part of the season she got to do a lot of feasting too. But can you believe this — she said it got tiring having to feast so much!!! Humans are wimps. Except for Michael Phelps.
Beckett
PS – Another human who knows how to feast is Dean Karnazes. At the end of his book Ultramarathon Man he lists one of his training feasts. It’s impressive.
When I read that he ate that much I was stunned. 12,000 calories is unbelievable. The guy is superman. Greatest athlete ever.
V – http://flairforthedramatic.mlblogs.com
Great post. We love Michael, The Eating Machine, Phelps. How does he find time to swim?
I broke some records myself, the other night. The humans gave a cocktail party and it was my first event where people food was left at muzzle height. I crammed in about $25 worth of tasty, smelly cheeses, the leavenings of a hard salami, some French bread rounds, Triscuitts, melon wedges and some really terrific pita chips. I passed over the red pepper hummous and the grapes (they’re toxic and I knew to shun them.
The humans walked across the street to momentarily check out a piece of art and I seized the opportunity for some hard and fast feasting. Pupi—you and Stan would be proud!
It’s probably a good thing that none of us in the pet family eat as many calories as Michael Phelps because we just lay around all day. There was some cat named Chunk on the news recently who weights 44 pounds and that’s what I would look like if I ate ten percent of what Phelps eats.
Besides, I like catching bugs and sometimes I eat them, too. He probably doesn’t do that.
Eleanor