A Profile in Feasting: Michael Phelps
I have a ton of respect for some of the greatest human feasters of all time, such as hot-dog eating champion Today, I’d like to profile another great feaster, Michael Phelps. How do you think he won all those gold medals? Hardcore feasting, of course.and clutch-hitting champion David Ortiz.
First of all, Phelps wakes up earlier at 4:30 AM to make sure he has enough time in his day to consume 12,000 calories. Plus, early morning is the best time to throw down an enormous feast. Phelps’ breakfast consists of 3 sandwiches, 5 omelets, some grits, 3 pieces of , and 3 pancakes. Tasty. Lunch is a little on the light side, featuring 1 pound of pasta and 2 sandwiches. Phelps’ later eats another pound of pasta and a whole pizza before bed time. Some people say Phelps is like a fish. But he eats like a whale.
I figure I could eat that much, but my humans never let me. How am I supposed to win a gold in the doggie-paddle if I don’t start eating like Phelps, you stupid humans! 5 omelets, please. Stay-tuned next time when I profile the next great American feaster.