8 Reasons Why the Yankees are Lame
1. The Yankees never get their uniforms dirty. Have you ever seen Jeter with even a speck of mud on his pretty pants? Youkilis is dirty and sweaty before the game even starts. The guy practices head first slides during warm-ups.
2. The Yankees have the personality of a dead field mouse. For a multi-millionaire playboy who hooked-up with Madonna, you’d think A-Rod would be a little more interesting to hear talk. I mean everything Manny does is super interesting.
3. The Yankees aren’t allowed to have facial hair, except mustaches. Mustaches? You can only have one kind of facial hair and you pick mustaches? This is not 1972. Goatees are where it’s at.
4. The Yankees are wicked old. Jorge Posada is older than a sea tortoise and runs like one too. Clay Buchholz is like 14, a young stud.
5. The Yankees got their muscles by shooting steroids in their bums. The Red Sox got their muscles by eating raw meat.
6. Jason Giambi wears a thong under his jersey. Mike Timlin wears camouflage hunting gear under his jersey.
7. A-Rod wears purple lip gloss. Dustin Pedroia wears dirt for chapstick.
8. The Yankees eat like little girls. I guess Joba could put up some slight competition, but when it really comes down to it, David Ortiz and Bartolo Colon would absolutely destroy the Yankees in a pork chop eating contest.
-Big Pupi
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i’m a yanks fan… but this was hiillarious
and i think the yanks would’ve said absolutely no facial hair if it hadn’t been for don mattingly.
http://flairforthedramatic.mlblogs.com
Youk could never be a Yankee. Even if he were clean shaven BEFORE he suited up, he’d have a beard by he 7th inning stretch.
Thanks, Pupi, that was great. And the way you zeroed in on A-Rod’s purple lip gloss was the best – I always wondered why he looked like that. But he was even doing it before he knew Madonna, so I don’t know where he got the lip gloss back then.
I was so excited about the big win over the Yankees last night – we sure needed that. I stopped doing my chores long enough to watch the game. It was my day for vacuuming and dusting, but not during the Yankees game.
Eleanor
Hey Pupi -
I have about had it with the latest lameness by the Sox. What is going on? You might think they are acting like Yankees. Thank God they pulled out that win against the Yanks for their last game in that series. Now we are on to the Angels and I feel like I am watching a re-run!!
Eleanor, my human got sick of me asking to use her e-mail account so finally got me my own address. But I still have to hope she leaves the computer turned on. I haven’t mastered that yet. I barely pay attention to the live mice in the condo, so the one attached to the computer is not an attraction at all. My human keeps telling me I am not earning my keep – but doesn’t she know that she is the one who should be worried about earning HER keep?? I am not at all happy with the quality of food these days – especially after learning about Pupi and Stan’s BARF diet!!
Emmet
If you’re going to bag on the Yankees you shouldn’t mention A-Rod…too easy a target. And, as far as the pork chop eating contest is concerned, have you ever seen Ponson?
Mackenzie