Monday Jokes- Roger Clemens Edition
Kevin Youkilis and the Red Sox beat the Tigers and their drunken kid fans tonight 6-3. Here’s your Monday jokes, this time having to do with Roger Clemens. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved Roger ever since he told those suits up on Capitol Hill he had no idea what a vegan was. I have no idea what a vegan is either.
1. What do you do if you just had an accident on the carpet and your mom’s about to come home?
You admit to having the accident and apologize immediately in order to avoid a Congressional perjury hearing and so your mom doesn’t find out about all those girl dogs you’ve been hooking up with.
2. What do Roger Clemens and his dog have in common?
Neither can find their balls.
3. What happens when a vegan takes steriods?
He gets soyd-rage!
4. How many Jose Cansecos does it take to change a light-bulb?
Five- 1 to change the light-bulb
1 to continue bashing his wife’s car while the light-bulb is getting changed
1 to recover the light-bulb when it falls out and bounces off his head over the fence
1 to keep an eye on his pet land tortoise
1 to write a tell-all book about it
Feast Hard,
Big Pupi
mlblogsbigpupi
Yes, Pupi, Roger has become a great disappointment in the last few years. I would rather just remember him as he used to be, back in the days when he was still with the Red Sox. Hopefully, he didn’t start all his extracurricular activities until he left Boston.
I’ve heard of vegan animals, but I don’t think that their humans are being fair to them. It’s criminal to deprive a dog or cat of real meat. We don’t understand the social implications of things like that.
Eleanor
Roger is now on the level of Johnny Damon. My favorite Roger Moment occurred during his 60 Minutes interview…he threw his wife under the bus by claiming the steroids were HERS!!!!!!!!!!
Now THAT takes balls….something I didn’t think Roger possessed any longer. hahahahhaha
Hi Pupi -
Love the new Monday format. Especially the Roger edition. He may have been a great pitcher at one time (at least that is what I have heard – I wasn’t alive back then), but I think he’s always had a way too big opinion of himself.
I don’t understand vegans, but I DO understand freegans – the guys who scavenge the trash for good leftovers. That is definitely my style. I love stealing Mom’s lunch when she isn’t looking.
I didn’t realize the implications when kids drink – had not checked the AL Central standings. At least now I know what signs to look for.
Emmet