Kevin Youkilis and the Red Sox beat the Tigers and their drunken kid fans tonight 6-3. Here’s your Monday jokes, this time having to do with Roger Clemens. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved Roger ever since he told those suits up on Capitol Hill he had no idea what a vegan was. I have no idea what a vegan is either.
1. What do you do if you just had an accident on the carpet and your mom’s about to come home?
You admit to having the accident and apologize immediately in order to avoid a Congressional perjury hearing and so your mom doesn’t find out about all those girl dogs you’ve been hooking up with.
2. What do Roger Clemens and his dog have in common?
Neither can find their balls.
3. What happens when a vegan takes steriods?
He gets soyd-rage!
4. How many Jose Cansecos does it take to change a light-bulb?
Five- 1 to change the light-bulb
1 to continue bashing his wife’s car while the light-bulb is getting changed
1 to keep an eye on his pet land tortoise