Opening Day Notes
Hey dogs! Sorry I have written in a while, but I have been one busy boy. Eating raw meat (BARF diet) has been taking up the majority of my time, then following my NCAA bracket, the Celtics, Tiger Woods, NASCAR, and still crying a little about the Patriots. The UConn Huskies busted my bracket, which I picked all dog teams to win. Georgia and Georgetown didn’t help either. But yesterday, I woke up to go mark my territory and I saw that the Sox were on at like 6 in the morn. That’s when I realized it was Opening Day and I better clear my schedule, sit down with a raw femur bone, and start focusing on the things that really matter, like what David Ortiz is eating in Japan. So here it goes:
- If you woke up early, you may have noticed that I’m not playing SS for the Red Sox. I did go to Ft. Myers this spring to try to steal stinky Julio Lugo’s spot, but Tito told me I couldn’t play because my strike zone is .7 square centimeters. I was like “Tito, just bat me before Big Papi. I’ll walk every time and he can drive me in”. But Tito told me that was unethical, which I don’t quite understand because I thought that’s how you win championships- taping the Ram’s practice (Bill Belichick), losing on purpose so you get traded to a good team (Kevin Garnett), driving with your gas cap off (Carl Edwards). I mean, you do what it takes to win. So when Lugo leaves runners in scoring position every time he’s up, don’t blame me.
- It’s Opening Day and the Manny bashing has already started. Ridiculous. How many walk-off homers does Manny need to hit before the media gets off his oblique? Manny’s job is to hit the cover off the ball and turn pitchers into belly-itchers. Manny is doing his job. Go pick on someone who isn’t doing his job, such as Arlen Specter.
- The biggest game of the year- Kansas City Royals at Chicago White Sox, June 5th 2008. This game has Playoff implications and I will be there feasting on hot dogs with hundreds of other dogs. If they won’t let me into Fenway, I just may become a White Sox fan. Well no, but I will eat their hot dogs.
Bark at you later,