October 2007
A Great Taco Feast
Ever since I saw my hero Jacoby Ellsbury steal a base, I have been waiting for today between 2 and 5PM so that I could feast on my free taco. Since Taco Bell is not yet dog-friendly, I had to send my human out to our local downtown Chicago Taco Bell to pick me up my taco. He had to walk 2 miles to get said taco and when he came back my taco was cold, wet, and delicious. The taco was everything I dreamed it would be- meat and cheese together at last:
After the feast, I celebrated like Papelbon on a Duck Boat. I was disappointed I didn’t get to attend the Rolling Rally today, but the taco made up for it. My grandpa told me that the Dropkick Murphys played with Papelbon. Even though my brother Stanislaw is Polish, the Dropkick Murphys are his favorite band. He is one party animal. He doesn’t really care about the games, just the post-party. If he ever saw the Murphys live, he would pee out of excitement. Me too probably.
Sweep Caroline
Sorry for the late blog, I had a late night and drank a little too much out of the toilet after the historic victory. Now I turn on the TV and all I see is the Yankees. Who cares about A-Rod, the Yankees and their manager, the Red Sox just won the World Series! Stop crying Yankees and just shut up. I care about Mike Lowell, not A-Rod. Well, another season in the books and another Red Sox Championship. Not really sure what I am going to do now that the season is over, probably take a nap and conspire to break into the kibbles cabinet. There are still a few outstanding items relating to this season that I will be keeping my eye on- like how those free tacos are going to taste tomorrow, whether Mike Lowell will be back, and what Tek is going to do with the game ball he put in his pocket before jumping on Papelbon. Shut up Scott Boras, I’ll bite your ankles. Red Sox rule.
Dice-K Throws Paper
And paper beats rock. I know I’ve been hard on the Rockies the past few days. I’ve said that they have no pitching, no offense, no manager, and that the Denver Broncos have a better chance at beating the Sox. Well, apparently the Rockies have one good player named Matt Holliday so I am sorry if I offended Matt. The rest of you guys still stink like the poo my brother did in front of the elevator this morning.
Like the Rockies tonight, the Red Sox had their backs against the wall in the ALCS because they weren’t clicking as a team. Ever since guys like Dice-K, Pedroia, Youkilis, and Ellsbury stepped up, the Sox have been unstoppable. You can’t win a World Series with one guy, or two guys, or four guys. The Red Sox have proven this. I know it’s not over yet and that the Rockies have been down to one strike before, but Holliday is not going to beat the Sox by himself. He’s Matt Holliday, not Matt Ryan. Holliday may knock Lester around a little, but the Sox clicking on all cylinders are going to pull it out tonight. Sweep. Rockies- maybe build a real baseball team and we’ll see you next year. If the Rockies are the best team in the NL, then the Pirates must be like a Little League team. By the way Taco Bell, I didn’t miss Mike Lowell stealing third last night so I expect 2 free tacos on Tuesday!
Big Pupi on the Issues
Just thought I would offer my opinion on some of the burning issues surrounding Game 3 tonight in Denver:
1. Free tacos: Apparently some people are angry about the aggressiveness and intrusiveness of Taco Bell’s Steal a Base, Steal a Taco campaign. Are these people taking crazy pills? C’mon, we’re talking about free tacos here! Sounds pretty awesome to me. These anti-free taco people are saying that Tim McCarver talks too much about tacos. I happen to love it when McCarver speaks of the taco. Makes me want to lick his face. So stop badmouthing tacos and get in line for a free one! (Tuesday 2-5PM)
2. Baseballs in humidors: The Rockies put their baseballs in humidors in order to keep them the right size in the thin air so batters aren’t hitting bombs all over the place in Coors Field. This could be interpreted as an advantage for the Rockies since the Sox have way more sluggers. I say let the Rockies do whatever they want. They have no chance anyway. I would bet my bowl of kibble that Manny still hits a homer tonight, humidors or not. Manny doesn’t pay attention to the size of the ball or the thinness of the air. He just hits the cover off the ball every time he is up.
3. Pitchers batting: Much has been made about who should start for the Sox since Dice-K has to bat. Do we move Youk to 3rd and sit Lowell? Do we put Drew in center, Youk in right, and Papi at first? Do we sit Papi? Do we put Manny at catcher and Mirabelli in left? My thoughts- it doesn’t matter. With stupid NL rules, once Dice-K comes out, someone is going to pinch-hit for him. In other words, we will be adding another slugger to the batting order no matter who we start. When the Rockies take out Jay Cutler or whoever is pitching for them after 3 innings, they’re going to be adding some stiff who can’t hit to their lineup. Advantage Red Sox.
Howl at you later,
Big Pupi
PS: Big Pupi is formally endorsing Matt Ryan for Heisman.
Free Tacos!
Steal a base, steal a taco. Jacoby Ellsbury is the man!
See you in line at Taco Bell,
Big Pupi
10 Reasons Why the Rockies Have No Chance
1. They stink like my brother’s carpet poo.
2. They wear purple. I mean, I would never be seen roaming around my territory in a purple collar.
3. Their manager Mike Shanahan thinks he’s playing a National League game with pinch hitters and tons of pitchers and scoring only 1 run. Now his bullpen is blown out already.
4. Eric Gagne is nasty with a 12-run lead.
5. Youkilis is a better blogger than Helton.
6. Yesterday my brother found a dead bird on the street and he brought him inside and we played with him until the humans found out. That bird was about as lifeless as the Rockies offense.
7. The Rockies’ bats are ice cold. Seriously, their bats are frozen. Someone left them outside at Coors Field during the long break.
8. John Elway is too old to pitch for them.
9. They only have their lucky dog at home games.
10. Kevin Millar is on our side.
Rockies Have So-Called Lucky Dog
Have you guys seen this dog that sits behind home plate with his owner at all the Rockies games? Supposedly he has been to 16 games, including all of the NLDS and NLCS, and the Rockies have won every time. While I am jealous that this dog gets to go to the game and feast on Coors Field hot dogs, I’m a little suspicious of the fact that he thinks he is a good luck charm. I hope to see him on TV this weekend when the Sox visit Denver to face Jake Plummer, or whoever the Rockies have on the mound. I have a feeling that his luck may be just about up. You’re on watch Bailey the lucky dog. You may have marked Coors Field as your territory now, but Manny and Papi are going to come in and take that territory for Red Sox Nation. Better bundle up. Unless you can get me tickets to come to Coors, then maybe we can become friends. But I will still eat your hot dogs.
Greetings from my New Home, Chicago IL
Hey guys:
Sorry I have been out of the loop the past few days. I have been a traveling puppy from Austin to Chicago, where I’m now checking out my new apartment. Boy is it cold here! Me and my brother are big city puppies now. But here are some thoughts I had on the road and couldn’t post them since my human won’t buy me an iPhone:
- No wonder I couldn’t catch Paul Byrd when he was flying around my backyard. He’s a cheater!
- I told my human that I had a pituitary gland condition where I needed to be served 1 piece of steak everyday, but he didn’t buy it.
- Matsuzaka and Drew are worth every penny!
- Lugo still stinks.
- I think Coco Crisp has found his calling- defensive replacement.
- I think Gagne has found his calling- mop-up man.
- Don’t you think it’s weird that Ellsbury always has one cold arm and one warm arm?
Well, I hope my cable gets installed by Wed. night, or I am going to have to troll around town to find a dog friendly bar. What an awesome ALCS! Bark at you guys tomorrow.
Greetings From Oklahoma City
What’s up, dogs? I’m up here in Oklahoma City after a long drive today. I have free reign of this sweet hotel room. I just saw Paul Byrd reading the line-ups on my room’s HDTV. It was like Paul Byrd was right there in my backyard playing in a bush. I also ordered some room service, I told them to bring me the biggest piece of meat in Oklahoma City. Curt is in, time to go. Go Sox!
Me and Josh Beckett are Like Two Pieces of Cheese in a Pod
I think the reason I like Josh Beckett so much isn’t because he’s the best pitcher in baseball and is largely responsible for bringing the ALCS back to Boston, but because he is just like me. Think about it:
1. We were both born and raised in the Lonestar State.
2. We both love to hunt in Texas. I like to hunt birds and squirrels mostly and Josh loves to hunt deer. I happen to own bright orange hunting gear and I’m always ready for a good hunt if Beckett or Timlin should call.
3. We’re both not distracted by our ex-girlfriends. If I’m roaming my neighborhood and I happen to see one of my exes, I may sniff her butt a little, but my focus is not taken away from the task at hand- marking territory for Red Sox Nation and hunting squirrels.
4. I like to bark at my opponents when I defeat them. Like if my brother is playing with a toy I want, I just go take it and I tell him to go take a seat. If Kenny Lofton had a stick I wanted, I’d take it and tell him that he stinks and to go hit the showers.
5. I celebrate my victories no matter what the score happens to be. If I just feasted on a big bowl of kibble and I’m excited, I’m going to let you know about it by running around in celebration. I don’t care if it’s morning, night, or the second inning. I’m happy so I show it. Well, I guess that is more like Manny.
PS: I’ll bark at you when I can during the games this weekend, I’m going on a road trip with my humans. I love to ride in a truck, just like Josh Beckett.
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